Click here for the Chapter III:
"How
dare you! How dare you come into my life like a storm and then just
suddenly leave me like it was nothing! I was a total wreck when you
left! And then now, you came back and suddenly demand from me to accept
you like nothing happened?!" How dare you!?" I yelled. I felt that all
the emotions I've kept within myself were rushing out like flood.
Stephanie was crying uncontrollably while saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". I felt so conflicted in not wanting to hurt her while wanting to knock sense on her.
Stephanie was crying uncontrollably while saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". I felt so conflicted in not wanting to hurt her while wanting to knock sense on her.
As
I was looking intently at her crying face, I realized one thing. How
could I ever breath normally again without this girl by my side?
"You
hurt me so bad Steph." I realized I was trembling. "Why did you have to
leave? You could always talk to me about everything".
"I
was so scared and confused Chris." she answered. She grabbed both my
hands, touched my palms with her lips, as if by doing so, she could
absorb all my pain. "When you kissed me the last time we were together, I
realized that I am so in love with you and that if I ever lose you, I
might die." She gazed into my eyes, touched my cheeks, placed her
right hand on my nape, seemingly afraid that if she won't hold me, I
would disappear. "A few days after I avoided you, I had a great desire
to see you, to touch you,but I was overcome with fear that you will
reject me. Afterall, I avoided you without explanation and besides, I
didn't even know whether you feel the same way towards me. I know this
sounds like an excuse but I have no other reason. I just decided that I
will only have the courage to face you once I could see again. I want to
be an abled person before facing you again. I don't ever wanna give you
anything less of me." she said softly. "And here I am Chris."
"You
did not give me a chance to prove you wrong Steph. You just assumed
that I am the same as that dimwitted Joe!" I told her bitterly.
"I
realized that now. I'm sorry Chris. I've missed you so much and I've
fought the urge to come running back to you. Many times, I wanted to
call you but I could not muster the courage to do so. I didn't know what
to say. Please Chris..please" she said.
'What made you think that I would wait for you? Afterall, there's really nothing between us, right? We were together but we are not really a couple, right?" The moment I said that, I immediately regretted it. I suddenly realized that I don't really have any right to be angry at her and that she doesn't really have the obligation to explain anything to me. I felt like a fool. I hope she doesn't realize it or I'd really look so foolish.
I could see that she was shocked though. For all her doubts about me, I realized that she really trusted me because it looked like she did not even consider the idea that I might just move on with my life without her. Her naivete is really something. She looked too vulnerable that my desire to protect her has really hightened. Somehow, I felt like I just got owned. Haha.
"Oh.."
That was all she said and then she cried so hard until she was
breathless, I got so worried. After awhile, when she calmed down, she
asked "Have you Chris? Have you moved on with your life? Is there no
more space in there where you could squeeze me in?" She asked in between
sobs.
"Please..please..even just a tiny spot, I would take it. Please Chris". I never appreciated the weight of her feelings until she said those words. This girl got hurt so bad in the past and she came to a point not to believe in love again. But here she was, begging. I felt like an ass.
I hated hearing her pleading at me like that. As if I needed convincing. It's not like I'm gonna let her out of my sight ever again.
"No.
I have not moved on with my life without you. I continued with my life
hoping that one day, you would appear again. And I was right, Thank
God!" It's time to be honest and true to myself. This has been going on
for too long, I'm already exhausted. I managed a smile and gently
squeezed her hands which are still holding mine so tight. There is no
more point for us to prolong the discussion on things that happened in
the past, things that we no longer can change. What matters is the here
and now.
"Did
you know I was looking everywhere for you? I even spent several hours
every day in this park hoping to see you again" I continued. I wiped
away her tears and caressed her damp cheeks. My heart was filled with so
much warmth and relief, still not believing that the love of my life
came back and is finally reciprocating my feelings. I pulled her closer
to me, kissed her tenderly, her eyes, her cheeks, the tip of her nose,
her soft lips. I think I could never have enough of her. But it's fine
since I have a lifetime to fill me in and satisfy my longing.
"I'm so glad you came back. You almost got me killed of loneliness, you know. I've missed you so much.." I said.
I stared at her, looked into her eyes wanting to reach the deepest rescesses of her soul. "You
could never burden me enough Steph. You will never be a burden to me. I
will carry everything with you." I said, tearing up now. "Even when you
were still blind, I was willing to hold your hand and guide you every step of the way. I
will never get tired of doing things you could not". I uttered.
"All
you have to do is stay where I can see you, be near me, be with me." I
was having difficulty speaking and crying at the same time. Passersby
were already looking strangely at us. "I love you Stephanie. I am so madly in love with you." I kissed her again, let her lips go and breathed out a deep sigh of relief. My heart's filled with happiness, I didn't know how to contain it.
"Will
you give me a chance Chris? Will you please forgive me and give me a
chance?" She said, still unsure despite what I said. Such a stupid girl.
"Only
if you promise me you won't pull this disappearing stunt ever again" I
said, feigning anger, my right hand gently touching her hair.
"I
promise. You can never get rid of me. You would spend your lifetime
having me around. Even if you get annoyed at me or get tired of me, I
will always cling to you. And you cannot turn your back on me, never
ever!" she said with intensity, I got scared a little. But it was really
pleasant to hear.
"Never ever. Glad to know that." I laughed. She smiled.
"Do you realize that this is the first time that I have ever seen your face?" She suddenly asked.
"Yeah..are you disappointed?" I got nervous.
"You are so handsome.." She smiled and kissed me deeply.
"I love you Chris. Thank you."
And I guess, there is nothing more that needs to be said.
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Yipee, it's finally finished! I know the story is poorly written and I still need a lot of writing to do to improve but I am glad I completed my first ever story. I did not intend for this to be too "cheesy" but my personal fantasies really played a major role when I was writing this. Hahaha. Thanks for reading!