Wednesday, June 24, 2015

A letter to my future daughter

My dear,

Hello there sunshine! I have always been dreaming of having you in my life. I want to feel you moving in my tummy, making tiny kicks and making acrobatics inside me. hehehe. I bet that would be both an amazing and scary experience - having to carry another living thing, a human being in my belly. I bet it would also be both stressful and heart warming. Stressful because I need to be doubly careful to keep you safe always and to feed you good food only. But I bet I wouldn't have it any other way. It would be the greatest miracle for me.

I am excited to see you and touch you. I will kiss your little hands, I will caress your probably bald head, I will gently kiss your soft cheeks and your tiny toes, and I will keep you close to my heart to keep you warm and to make you feel my tender embrace.

And my greatest joy would be to hear you for the first time to call me “Mama”.

When you grow up to become a little girl, I will buy you trendy dresses and cute outfits. I will buy you dolls and girly toys. I will eat ice cream and cakes with you. We will have a tea party and I will play as your guest. I will keep your hair long and shiny. I will teach you your first ABCs and 123s. I will teach you games which I played with my friends when I was your age. I will let you get bruises and get wounded so that you will become stronger and will be more careful next time. I will allow you to run and play in the rain. We will go camping and will build campfires. I will let you explore and touch dirt so you will discover the wonders of our world.

I will bring you to school and will keep an eye on you on your first day. It would probably hurt me a lot when you learn to be independent of me. I will surely feel sad when you start to make new friends and would prefer to be with them longer than with me. But I will let you. Because you are getting older, you need to be able to stand alone and be able to build relationship with your peers so you will not grow to become a loner and be lonely.

I will help you with your assignments and projects. I will be your cheerleader. I will be your number 1 fan. I will be your loyal confidant. I will be your shoulder to cry on. I will be your best-friend. I will be the coolest mom ever!

I will also be your personal Prefect of Discipline. I will teach you how to behave properly and not to throw tantrums whenever you want, wherever you want. I will teach you how to value the things you own, how to take care of your self. I will teach how to respect others and how to stand up on your own. I will teach you how to think rationally and how to be fair to others. I will teach you to be honest, to be gentle and yet strong and brave. I will not only teach you all these things. I will show you how.

When you are older, please do not get angry at me if I will not allow you all the time to sleep over your friends or to attend some parties. I would want you to focus on your studies because it really pays to be educated and earn a degree. I would not want you to waste your youth excessively enjoying parties and all while neglecting all the important things in life. I hope you will understand that I will definitely worry about you a lot and I am sure I will be very exaggerated. I even worry about you now because of the world I live in.

Do not get angry at me if I will comment bad things about your boyfriends. I will only want someone best for you, someone who will take care of you and be responsible for you. But do not worry because I will not control you. I will not give you heartaches when it comes to your romances and I will not be hard on you if you choose to be with someone I do not like. For as long as you are happy and for as long as you know your priorities, I will not interfere. And of course, for as long as that guy takes care of you, then I will let you. But a warning though, all hell will break loose if he hurts you. I know karate. And your Dad will probably learn how to become a torturer.

I will not question you if you want to be an astronaut or a teacher or even an embalmer. If that will give you fulfillment, I will not oppose it. Even if it will exhaust all my energy and all my money for you to reach your dreams, I will do it. I will not impose on you to do something you do not want.

I will not let other people's opinion about me, about you, or about us to control our decisions in life. I will show you that those people do not really matter. What matters to me is to see you happy in life, no matter what.

I will not promise that I can give you a very good life. I will not promise you that I will not hurt you or disappoint you. I will not even promise you that I will never humiliate you. I am still human and I am still capable of committing errors and misjudgments. I will not promise you the world. I will not promise you heaven.

What I can promise you is that you will never be alone, that your failures or your mistakes will never cause me to turn my back on you. I will always be there for you and I will always support you. I will always be sensitive to your feelings and to your needs. And no matter what, I will always be proud of you.

You can always count on me. You must always feel secure knowing for a fact that someone will love you unconditionally.

I will wait for you to come my dear daughter.