Lawyers can be stupid too..

I just can't help laughing on the following court room exchanges that I wanted to share them to you..

I hope when I become a lawyer, I won't humiliate myself this way..hahahahaha..

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. 

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you kidding me? ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Having consensual intercourse.

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral...

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

source: ArcaMax 

Famous Urban Legends (Read this at night, alone..for effects..hehehe)

I have been reading different urban legends that have been circulating in the web and by words of mouth. And I am quite fascinated and scared at the same time. In the Philippines, way back then, parents usually scare their children from going out at night by telling them scary tales about sneaky killers or whatever monstrosity they could think of just to scare the kids..this is actually effective even to this day.Proof? My 3 year old niece loves to run around and visit her friends (without asking permission from her mommy or from her grandmother because she knew she won't be permitted. Hehehe) so, when I had the chance to spend time with her, I made up scary stories enough to make her bones quiver and hug me tight for "protection" then I will use that story to scare her not to go out of the house without mommy, nanay, or mima with her..Can't do that now because they migrated to Canada already..

So anyway, I have been reading many urban legends and I thought of sharing some to you ..those which I think are really scary and hair-raising.

1. "The Killer Crown'

So-and-so's friend, a girl in her teens, is babysitting for a family in Newport Beach, Ca. The family is wealthy and has a very large house — you know the sort, with a ridiculous amount of rooms. Anyways, the parents are going out for a late dinner/movie. The father tells the babysitter that once the children are in bed she should go into this specific room (he doesn't really want her wandering around the house) and watch TV there.

The parents take off and soon she gets the kids into bed and goes to the room to watch TV. She tries watching TV, but she is disturbed by a clown statue in the corner of the room. She tries to ignore it for as long as possible, but it starts freaking her out so much that she can't handle it.

She resorts to calling the father and asks, "Hey, the kids are in bed, but is it okay if I switch rooms? This clown statue is really creeping me out."

The father says seriously, "Get the kids, go next door and call 911."

She asks, "What's going on?"

He responds, "Just go next door and once you call the police, call me back."

She gets the kids, goes next door, and calls the police. When the police are on the way, she calls the father back and asks, "So, really, what's going on?"

He responds, "We don't HAVE a clown statue." He then further explains that the children have been complaining about a clown watching them as they sleep. He and his wife had just blown it off, assuming that they were having nightmares.

 

 The police arrive and apprehend the "clown," who turns out to be a midget. A midget clown! I guess he was some homeless person dressed as a clown, who somehow got into the house and had been living there for several weeks. He would come into the kids' rooms at nights and watch them while they slept. As the house was so large, he was able to avoid detection, surviving off their food, etc. He had been in the TV room right before the babysitter right came in there. When she entered he didn't have enough time to hide, so he just froze in place and pretended to be a statue.

2. "The Dorm Mate"

Two dorm mates in college were in the same science class. The teacher had just reminded them about the midterm the next day when one dorm mate — let's call her Juli — got asked to this big bash by the hottest guy in school. The other dorm mate, Meg, had pretty much no interest in going and, being a diligent student, she took notes on what the midterm was about. After the entire period of flirting with her date, Juli was totally unprepared for her test, while Meg was completely prepared for a major study date with her books.

At the end of the day, Juli spent hours getting ready for the party while Meg started studying. Juli tried to get Meg to go, but she was insistent that she would study and pass the test. The girls were rather close and Juli didn't like leaving Meg alone to be bored while she was out having a blast. Juli finally gave up, using the excuse that she would cram in homeroom the next day.

Juli went to the party and had the time of her life with her date. She headed back to the dorm around 2 a.m. and decided not to wake Meg. She went to bed nervous about the midterm and decided she would wake up early to ask Meg for help.

She woke up and went to wake Meg. Meg was lying on her stomach, apparently sound asleep. Juli rolled Meg over to reveal Meg's terrified face. Juli, concerned, turned on the desk lamp. Meg's study stuff was still open and had blood all over it. Meg had been slaughtered. Juli, in horror, fell to the floor and looked up to see, written on the wall in Meg's blood: "Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the lights!"

3. "Killer in the Backseat"

One night a woman went out for drinks with her girlfriends. She left the bar fairly late at night, got in her car and onto the deserted highway. After a few minutes she noticed a lone pair of headlights in her rear-view mirror, approaching at a pace just slightly quicker than hers. As the car pulled up behind her she glanced and saw the turn signal on — the car was going to pass — when suddenly it swerved back behind her, pulled up dangerously close to her tailgate and the brights flashed. 

Now she was getting nervous. The lights dimmed for a moment and then the brights came back on and the car behind her surged forward. The frightened woman struggled to keep her eyes on the road and fought the urge to look at the car behind her. Finally, her exit approached but the car continued to follow, flashing the brights periodically. 

Through every stoplight and turn, it followed her until she pulled into her driveway. She figured her only hope was to make a mad dash into the house and call the police. As she flew from the car, so did the driver of the car behind her — and he screamed, "Lock the door and call the police! Call 911!" 

When the police arrived the horrible truth was finally revealed to the woman. The man in the car had been trying to save her. As he pulled up behind her and his headlights illuminated her car, he saw the silhouette of a man with a butcher knife rising up from the back seat to stab her, so he flashed his brights and the figure crouched back down. 

The moral of the story: Always check the back seat!

4. "Bloody Foundation of San Juanico Bridge, Philippines"

  

Imelda Marcos was in charge of building the bridge. She consulted a manghuhula(fortune-teller) who said that the bridge would never be finished unless the blood of children [would be spilled on the foundation]. So Imelda ordered [street children to be kidnapped] and [their throats were] slit on the bridge's location. Their bodies were thrown into the river. It was also said that instead just spread the blood on the bridge, the blood itself was mixed to cement by the construction workers.

- Much scary version is, the bodies of the children are dropped to the cement mixer.

The San Juanico Bridge, renamed from Marcus Bridge, was the longest bridge in the Philippines. According to some rumors, it has foundation allegedly been made stronger by the blood of numerous street children (some say babies). When it was under construction, there happened coincidentally a kidnapping in Samar-Leyte areas. Thus, they theorized that the kids were offered to a pagan or demonic ritual to guarantee the strength of the structure. Imelda Marcos, being in charge with the building, was said to be the master mind of the said events.

This is why, people say, the bridge is haunted by many lost spirits. Others say that the success of the bloody rituals done for San Juanico Bridge encouraged others to do the same for their bridges and buildings. Only one detail was constant: the use of street kids as sacrifice. 

5. "Bloody Mary"

As told on the Internet, Feb. 16, 1994:

 

When I was about 9 years old, I went to a friend's for a birthday/slumber party. There were about 10 other girls there. About midnight, we decided to play Mary Worth. Some of us had never heard of this so one of the girls told the story.

Mary Worth lived a long time ago. She was a very beautiful young girl. One day she had a terrible accident that left her face so disfigured that nobody would look at her. She had not been allowed to see her own reflection after this accident for fear that she would lose her mind. Before this, she had spent long hours admiring her beauty in her bedroom mirror.

One night, after everyone had gone to bed, unable to fight the curiosity any longer, she crept into a room that had a mirror. As soon as she saw her face, she broke down into terrible screams and sobs. It was at this moment that she was so heartbroken and wanted her old reflection back, that she walked into the mirror to find it, vowing to disfigure anybody that came looking for her in the mirror.

After hearing this story, which was told very scarily, we decided to turn out all of the lights and try it. We all huddled around the mirror and starting repeating "Mary Worth, Mary Worth, I believe in Mary Worth." 

About the seventh time we said it one of the girls that was in front of the mirror started screaming and trying to push her way back away from the mirror. She was screaming so loud that my friends mom came running into the room. She quickly turned on the lights and found this girl huddled in the corner screaming. She turned her around to see what the problem and saw these long fingernail scratches running down her right cheek. I will never forget her face as long as I live!!

Good night everyone..:)

Disclaimer: All there stories were taken from the internet.

  

Missing a loved one..

I never thought that I could ever miss someone so much that it hurts.

My sister.

My sister, who I fondly call "Manang" (Such is how we address our elder sister in Ilonngo dialect, one of Philippines' local dialects) with her husband and her 3 years old daughter left for Canada last February 2013. They worked for their immigrant visa for almost three (3) years and finally, they were able to leave. It was a moment of triumph for both our family and her husband's family because one way or another, we all supported them of their dream. 

It was also a moment of terrible sadness (as if sadness is never terrible).

Touched down in Canada

Closer to their dreams

We all shed tears when they left us. I practically wailed when I hugged my sister goodbye..I could not believe that I won't be seeing her in the flesh for the next 4 - 5 years. It was a ridiculous idea! But it was real. Actually, nights before they left, I was having a hard time coping with the fact that I will become totally independent of her because of the distance and coping with the idea that I won't be seeing my niece grow. I love her so much. I cried buckets. It was a very sad moment for all of us.

My sister has been a very dominant character in my life story. She served as both my mother and father when we were still studying in college. She served as our breadwinner when everything was falling apart - our business back then died a sudden death because of El Niño. And my sister took matters into her own hands and strove to earn so she can help our parents and support us. She struggled hard in college in coping with her schedule because she was working. Such a selfless love for her family.

I remembered the first time she brought Chickenjoy from Jolibee where she was working. The taste was so good because I felt it was hard-earned. It was a momentous event. From then on, she saw to it to bring something from Jolibee for us to eat so we wouldn't be ignorant of the food that the chain offers. Me and my brothers grew up in a far flung area so we were not acquainted with the smiling "jolly" bee back in the early 2000s. She is a one-of-a-kind sister.

snow!!!!

Father and Daughter

She is also a loving daughter. She strove hard to provide support for my parents whose life revolve around selling dry goods and RTWs. She helped bring back our lost business. Although it is not as big as before but it is enough to provide my parents what they need. She also helped in renovating our home. Our house is still unfinished but it is definitely bigger and way way better than our old house. She said that when things will become stable in Canada, she will help in completing our house. She has her own family now but she can't refrain from giving us the best. She is very generous. And she never asked us for anything in return but a promise to lead a good life for ourselves and to never forget our parents.

She and her husband is also supporting my brother-in-law's family, continually providing them financial support, especially Kuya's parents.

But my sister is not a saint. She has her "crazy" moments as well. She is a very high-tempered lady. I've always thought that she got this from our Aunt, my father's younger sister, who has the same quality, because she lived with them when she was in High school. She is also very strict and impatient. She also disciplined us and never hesitated to spank us when she can't help herself. But I never learned to fight back when I was younger. My respect and fear was very imminent. And I never learned to hate her for that. We were raised by a very strict father who believed that to drive home his point and to show us the errors of our way, we had to bear the pain of punishment. My father's disciplinary ways was very helpful in developing our strong characters. All of us turned out better than expected. :) Anyway, back to my sister. Now that we are older, we developed that sense of sisterly communication that holds us closer. We still fight. But we fight and argue in order to agree.

And I terribly terribly miss her. When they were still here in the Philippines, I was not living with my sister and we were not really together always but the distance now is far different because we can't just visit each other whenever we like. 

I miss how she would sneak and tinker on our mobile phones and read all our personal messages and absentmindedly comment something nice or terrible depending on her opinion. I miss how we would laugh together gossiping about the people who are so envious of our fate that it feels like we are killing them. I miss how we would whisper to each other when we see someone screwing herself up and then, we giggle.

I miss how she would tell me how she truly feels about my choices in life and how she hates me for being so stupid sometimes and how she would bring me back to my senses.

Honestly, I never had any major decisions in my life without having to consult with my sister because I have always considered her opinions or recommendations so important and genuine and I feel that I could never go wrong when I heed her advise. I feel that I will always be okay for as long as my sister is there. She is my anchor and she keeps me from drowning.

It is really hard to miss someone so close to our hearts. It's as if we are deprived of a portion of the air that we breath, our oxygen. It's as if we are missing something so vital in our lives that it is so hard to live a normal life. 

I will always be very grateful that God gave me my sister. She was meant to be my Manang even before my mother conceived me. It would have been a different life if she's not my sister. I will always miss our days together. Five years is too long.

We don't know what the future holds for us and our loved-ones. We really do not know if we will remain physically close to the people we love and it would be hard to cope when that time comes. But what is important is we collect good memories that we can hold on to when the parting is inevitable. More importantly, we should always show how much we value our family while we have the chance because when they leave for a distant place, we could never let them feel how much we love them through virtual communication.

Nothing beats loving the people around us on a very personal level - personal means being able to touch them, hug them, and kiss them..

Taken at Davao Airport, Davao City

Zieanna posing with her paternal Lola..Nanay Pacing..

Zieanna with Dada Jayson

Zieanna with her maternal grandparents.

Quote to ponder:

"Missing someone is a part of loving them, if you're never apart, then you will never know how strong your love really is." - Unknown