Glimpse of the Past : Relevant to this day

Once upon a time, I wrote in my website (which is free! - http://kareengracelacorte.webs.com) an article that is still significant to me and perhaps to everyone to this day. I wrote this during a time when I had a misunderstanding with my family. It was not a jab towards them but it was more of a reminder to myself that we all deserve to be happy.

I'd like to share it to you..

We are the architect of our lives

Posted by Kareen Grace on January 15, 2013 at 9:15 PM

comments (1)

I once posted in my facebook status that "If I cannot be anything you need, I cannot be anything you want". I want to somehow explain or elaborate on this. This fact just came to me in the midst of an emotional struggle with one of the most important persons in my life.

Each of us has our own principles, views, and beliefs in life. Yes, we do ask for comments or advises from people we trust to somehow help us in coming up with better (sometimes, less evil) decisions. But at the end of the day, we come up with decisions that greatly reflects what we believe, what we stand for, what we strongly feel about. Those decisions may not always be favorable and agreeable to the people around us and to the people who love us. But it is our decision. If anything goes wrong or if in the end, we realize it was a wrong turn, nobody will fall for it but yourself. Unless you base all your decisions to what other people may feel, may think, and may say. Of course, it is a given that we must not harm other people and that we should live harmoniously with the world. But when it comes to your own happiness, will you let others decide for you?

Our family only wants the best for us, yes. Our family does not want to see us struggle, yes. They do not want to see us harmed or hurt, yes. Simply because they love us. But I don't think influencing our decisions about the major areas in our lives goes with it. This is not about being self-centered or being rebellious. This is not about proving that you are your own person. This is about asserting your right to happiness. And our family is supposed to be the first persons to support us. They may view things differently but they should still be there for you no matter what your choices are. For as long as you do not destroy yourself, for as long as you do not harm others, for as long as you do not waste your life, your family must be able to respect your decisions.

Perhaps, they see things on a different perspective. And we should understand that. We should respect that. They have valid reasons to be concern about how we manage our affairs. But I don't think it is right to be greatly influenced by it to the point that you will lead a life they want you to have but not the life you want to live. If they want to change you and the way you see things, and you will allow them to do it, you might as well be imprisoned. You will become a remote-controlled (but completely capable of thinking) fellow. You will never be happy. You will never be free. And it is a very awful situation to be in. Unless you're still a teenager, I think your family has a valid reason to guide you to the right path.  I think teenagers are misguided by what they see around them nowadays but that's a different story.

My point is, as adult, we should be able to decide for ourselves without having to seek for the approval of our family. Because at the end of the day, what's at stake is our happiness. We should freely create our lives. we should be the architect of our own lives. We should be the one to define our lives. Not other people. Not anyone.Too cliche' but it rings truth.
And our family should never turn their backs on us if we choose to do so.
In my case, they never will.