Realizations in Law School

It's been three years of agonizing nights trying to acquaint myself with the Philippine laws. It has been three arduous years that I have struggled to pass all my subjects without having to give up my job, without having to mess up my relationships with my loved ones, without having to drop dead for the sleepless, dreamless nights I have to endure and for living in a zombie-like state.

And so I was in deep thoughts when our professor required us to write an essay about our realizations in law school. I'd say, I realized a lot. I realized that the world is full of shit and the law have to attempt to correct them. I realized that human beings are capable of violent, repulsive, objectionable acts against one another and the law had to put up with all these. I realized, though lay persons can't seem to see it, that lawyers are the ordinary men who, at their own expense, made themselves extraordinary by moving mountains and by facing the challenge of standing up against the world of shit many buried themselves into just to protect their liberty, just to provide them peace of mind.

But of course, that's not what I have written in my essay. I would be too vulgar. And I would come out uncultivated for saying my thoughts so plainly and frankly. So I had to contain myself and I had to write something mellow and I hope I drove home my point. But sorry, I had to be vague and general because I can't write everything in one sheet of paper - what with my large handwriting (i just winced).

 So, here is my essay. Apologies for the crazy handwriting. 
 

It's not much, I admit. And this paper does not even deserve to be noticed. I just want to preserve it so that when I become a lawyer, I can go back to this paper and realize how simple-minded I was. :)
 

At the Moment

So, lately, the internet slang "ATM" or "at the moment" is being used by my facebook friends whenever they post happenings in their lives.(Even at this point, I still could not bring myself to use these internet slangs whenever I log in my social media accounts. Well, even when shortened word in SMS or text mesages has become a trend, I still could not bring myself to type shortened words (such as "where are you" to "wer r u?" or "wer na u?"). I just think that it does not fit in my personality to just go with the flow.)

Anyway, since I don't want to post in my facebook account my "ATM" activities, I thought I'd try in on my blog adapting my own style. :) Can't hurt anyone.

Current State of Mind

Steady. I am preparing myself mentally for another semester in law school.

 

Need to

Enroll for the 2nd semester in law school. I also need to finish all the novels I bought before the classes start for I definitely won't have time to read when the school opens. urgh!

 Reading

Jonathan Kellerman Book - Self Defense

Excited About

The Christmas Holidays. I dread the moment when I have to hunt for gifts for my family within my financial means (and it's tight!) and to figure out whether they'd like my gift or not. But the thought is still exciting! It's the holidays afterall. Waaaa!

Worried About

My Father's health. He is a chain smoker and he is the most stubborn person I have ever met in life. His health is really deteriorating because of this vice. I wish cigarettes disappear on earth!

Looking Forward

To reading my books. I have a collection of novels from the following authors and I am dying to finish reading them all: Jonathan Kellerman, James Patterson, Patricia Cornwell, Perri O'Shaugnessy, Steve Martini, JA Jance, Lisa Jackson, Scott Turrow, Lisa Gardner, Nancy Rosenberg

Craving for

My father's tinolang native manok with ubad and kadyos (Chicken Tinola with core stalk of banana trunk and pigeon pea)

Nilagang Buto ng Kasoy which I haven't eaten for years!

Frustrated about 

Mayor Digong Duterte's decision not to run for President for the 2016 Elections. I ultimately decided not to register as a voter. I don't think the current Presidentiables possess the good combination of being the Philippine President. What's worst? People who are willing to still vote for them. tsk. tsk.

Dreaming about
Becoming a lawyer and have a sparring session with Mirriam Santiago in the court room. Wow! I think I will continue to dream on this.. not the dream of being a lawyer but the dream of having the honor to have Atty. Mirriam Santiago an opponent in a case. Oh well, dreams are for free. Do not dare rain on my parade!

Thinking of trying
To write a novel. Another "keep on dreaming girl" dream. Haha. I can read as many novels as I can but I could never write the way my favorite authors do. But if I can, I'd probably specialize in Thriller/Suspense/Courtroom drama genres. 

Curious about
Inflicting self-harm. Sometimes, suicide is such a convenient exit for me when things are getting so rough. But I am too coward to ever try it. I could not understand how a person can come to a decision to kill himself and not cringe upon the thought of getting so physically hurt. Sorry, I am getting gibberish.

Afraid of
Failing any of my subjects. Passing my subjects is a prerequisite to becoming a lawyer. And I could not afford that. Not now. Not ever.


Feeling lucky
Being able to juggle work and studies. I am lucky to have a very understanding and supportive boss. I am lucky that my body doesn't give up. I am lucky that I have sufficient support system.

Hoping to
Pay all my debts. I am poor. Seriously. I hope one day, I'd be able to earn sufficiently enough so I won't be forced to swallow my shame and to borrow money from good good friends. :(

Praying for
A better life ahead and I am praying that Year 2016 will offer me better sleeping habits and better financial status and improved emotional stability and peace of mind. Generally, I am praying for a better life.

Finally..

#ATM
Enjoying life's small pleasures. :)